Angry Gaijin

Cameron Ohara

Cool Anger

Cool anger.

Dearest Ms. Hiro,

Some nights keeping myself awake is all that keeps me from panicking about.

Turn off the lights, put out the sounds, and all I can think about is your head on my shoulder,

and my head on your mind -

and me not comfortable with either, but always begging for more.

Me, silently begging, quiet enough that you don’t hear,

but loud and in and out and upside-down through the caverns and cliffs, calling, rattling, echoing,

so loud that I can’t help but see how obvious a choice I made when I decided to assume why you didn’t catch on.

* * *

Dearest Betty,

I can’t help but feel that all my friendships are just failed attempts at loving someone genuinely.  Coz after you flew the coop, I’ve left my front doors open and people have come to help themselves.  I’m still waiting for someone to bring something nice in.  But so far all they bring is the dirt on their boots and heels.

* * *

To my son,

Because you live in town, I feel like I have to move away.  I wonder if my Pa felt the same way about me when he realized all his friendships were just failed attempts at loving someone genuinely.

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9 responses to “Cool Anger

  1. Susie August 16, 2012 at 4:02 am

    I have no idea what the letters are about but I kinda get the gist that once you are hurt by love you kind of get jaded. You expect disappointment instead of trying to reciprocate real feelings of love. Least that’s what I gathered. Love the eyes in the picture, I feel like I am being looked upon with disdain.

    • angrygaijin August 18, 2012 at 7:44 am

      Aww…. distain, yeah…. I really should try to draw more happy pictures. :(

      Seeing what you write here though was good reflection for me. You read my post well – Thank you. I shouldn’t get down so easily though, eh?

  2. island traveler August 12, 2012 at 12:57 pm

    In a way, I felt a certain sadness in this story. Yes, there are moments in our life that we encounter friends and family who hurt eyes and leave us wounded but there are also a few who will fill the void and love us enough to help us realize we can be happy. I can say this because I had walked the same path. Not easy but I have a few who kept loving me despite of everything. I wish you the best my friend.

    • angrygaijin August 13, 2012 at 3:36 pm

      Island Traveler, you only have the best things to say.

      Thanks. I know… I’ll try to remember what you said. I think you’re right though. I shouldn’t complain so much.

  3. ristinw August 11, 2012 at 4:40 pm

    It looks cute, not angry :D

  4. chris August 10, 2012 at 10:53 pm

    Not afraid to admit that while I have no idea what your talking about I should leave a comment admitting such instead of being a lazy blogger and moving on. :)

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